SARS-CoV-2 and What I Gained From It
People
People whom, without this, we would have passed by every day in the yard, exchanging pleasant smiles and good wishes. People with whom we created connections, drew strength from each other, and endured an impossible time together. Without whom I wouldn’t be who I am today. Without their understanding, support, and rock-solid backing, I would have given up long ago. This isn’t just a collegial relationship, nor necessarily friendship… it’s a kind of closed alliance, an indescribable collective strength that we all share. People who saw the same things, felt the same feelings, and stood shoulder to shoulder with me through every decision. People to whom we are now bonded, people I would go through fire for.
Time
Time I would never have had if it weren’t for the pandemic. Time for myself, time for others—strangers for whom we sacrificed our own time without knowing their names or faces, so they could have a little more of theirs. We all offered our own time to strangers at hospital beds, sharing what was ours to add to theirs. I have to believe that most of the time, it succeeded. And when it didn’t, something in all of us dimmed a little. For a moment, the daily routines broke, and I wondered what that person would have done with that time if things had turned out differently, if they could have lived it. What else would they have done, what would they have said, and to whom…? Who would they have loved longer, what would they have done just for the joy of acting? What would they have exchanged that time for, which an intangible, invisible virus stole from their future? What lay ahead of them…?
And from this came a small step of thought: what will I do with my own time? What will I do, what will I say, and to whom will I speak? Who will I love just for themselves, and what will I do simply because it brings me joy? How will I spend my own time, those constantly ticking, precious minutes I still have…? What lies ahead of me…?
Dizzying thoughts, too often to leave no mark on a person. Every loss has left a scar within me.
Space
Space that is within. As much as this pandemic destroyed, it also armed me. Walls fell and boundaries stretched into horizons I never imagined. Many essential questions were reevaluated; once towering, etched-in-stone dogmas crumbled silently and soundlessly, and opportunities took their place. Endless possibilities. Chances connected to the people life threw into my path during this extraordinary time, and connected to time itself, which took on a whole new dimension through what was lost. Connections emerged, while others faded. What is important gained space; what is not, lost it. And if a person decides they truly want something, truly cling to it, truly see it as valuable, then all they need to unfold it is free space in which it can develop fully.
Pieces of Myself
A long-dormant part of my personality, which I knew existed but barely remembered. I am so glad it is here again. This awareness might be a kind of armored background from which I can draw strength.
Adaptation.
Humility.
Recognition of others.
Understanding.
Strength.
Perseverance.
Respect.
But most of all, determination and willpower, and a new, deep commitment.
Dated: July 1, 2020
daysonpapercom
Welcome to our little virtual corner! I’m a single mother raising my wonderful son, Ruben, who has grown into a remarkable teenager. For years, I was the sole breadwinner as a Krav Maga instructor, balancing the challenges of parenthood and work on my own. When Ruben started kindergarten, I embarked on a new journey by studying healthcare management at Semmelweis University, specializing in health tourism management. After graduating, I began working in my field and experienced firsthand the tragic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic while serving as a healthcare manager in a state hospital. As the pandemic subsided, I transitioned into private healthcare, where I currently work as a practice manager. Meanwhile, our family moved from a small town to Vác, a charming historic Danube riverside city near Budapest. Here, we embrace the everyday moments and joys of life together. If you want to hear more stories about us, you’re warmly invited to visit the original Daysonpaper blog at S&Ru’s Diary on daysonpaper.blog.hu. So I decided to try living for a year on an international stage and see if there are other mothers in similar shoes for whom this diary could be a support on the harder days—just as it has been a support for me when I was able to look beyond the difficulties and sincerely believe in my own strength. Thank you for stopping by!
