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Ruben & Mom Camp 2020 – Day 2
– xBox party & movie afternoon – Considering that Ru is attached to home and enjoys some downtime after the constant coming and going, we planned an Xbox morning for Tuesday. It really sharpened my already battle-hardened sense of compromise lately, but what could I do—I would enjoy the familiar warmth of home too if I were in his place. So I agreed to play through a few games, in all of which I suffered crushing defeats. FIFA was the only exception, as we managed a draw! I’d rather skip the little truth that at 3-0, Ru swapped controllers with me and scored another 3 goals under my name in…
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Ruben & Mom Camp 2020 – Day 1; Afternoon
After we dropped Grandma off at the station, before heading to the beach, we still wandered through the town (because of course I packed everything for the kid, but forgot to bring sunscreen for myself). I bought this and that (and a few little things, and some not-so-little things, because the mood really took hold of me). By the time we reached the water, we were both longing for that splash. There, lying on the ground by the poolside with my eyes closed, warmed by the sun and listening to Ru chattering about games, videos, and everything else, I was overcome by that long-felt feeling that in that moment, everything…
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Ruben & Mom Camp 2020 – Day 1; MorningVác
A few weeks ago, I couldn’t even imagine (actually not even a few days ago) that I would really be able to come away for five days and that the two of us could do whatever we wanted during those days. But the rest time finally arrived, and in this short but all the more precious period ahead, we are beginning to recover from the exhaustion of the year so far—not just mine, but Ru’s as well, since let’s not forget that the virus turned children’s lives upside down too. Unfortunately, Ru didn’t want to go abroad for a vacation and had been away from home so much that he…
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Global Pandemic, and What Happened in a Parallel Reality During It
1.) I am learning to play the piano. Back in early March, when we only felt the first signs of the pandemic, I started taking weekly piano lessons. Later, when I came home in the evenings to an empty apartment, I would play for hours to clear my mind and, even if only temporarily, focus on something other than our cases or other circumstances. I believe that without music, I would have been under medication long ago. Of course, without my piano teacher’s flexibility, creativity, and professionalism, I wouldn’t have gotten far either, so I am deeply grateful to them here for sometimes holding lessons at impossible times—sometimes via video,…
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SARS-CoV-2 and What I Gained From It
People People whom, without this, we would have passed by every day in the yard, exchanging pleasant smiles and good wishes. People with whom we created connections, drew strength from each other, and endured an impossible time together. Without whom I wouldn’t be who I am today. Without their understanding, support, and rock-solid backing, I would have given up long ago. This isn’t just a collegial relationship, nor necessarily friendship… it’s a kind of closed alliance, an indescribable collective strength that we all share. People who saw the same things, felt the same feelings, and stood shoulder to shoulder with me through every decision. People to whom we are now…
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SARS-CoV-2 and What It Took From Me
People When the first news broke that a virus was sweeping somewhere on the other side of the world, one felt deep sympathy but followed the events with merely humanitarian concern, as a form of information gathering. The thought crossed my mind about how difficult the situation must be for colleagues there, what they must face, what they must feel all at once while having to make decisions about others and themselves. What a daily struggle that must be. A constant tension deep inside. Not long after, when it became clear even in our own hospital that this epidemic was more than media hysteria, I began to feel that tension…
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Nutella Cake – The Birthday Recipe
Over the years, it has become a tradition for us that Ru asks me to make a homemade cake for his birthday. As for this year: I will never forget the workday when, between two (three, five, ten…) other hospital duties, my colleague and I were browsing cake recipes to find that one perfect cake — the tastiest, the most impressive, and still doable within the boosted work morale that knows no afternoons, evenings, or weekends during COVID times. The task was not easy, but by the end of the day, we came up with a great idea: the Nutella cake! Ingredients: I mixed the larger pile of sugar with…
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Ru is 8 years old…! – April 23, 2020 –
In extraordinary times, a new kind of feeling arises (chillingly special, frightening, blood-curdling, shocking, demanding trust, calling for courage, helpless)… My son is growing up. But not as he used to, step by step, always learning a little more about the world, rather suddenly leaping over chasms, wild, with open arms, unstoppable. Absolutely irreversible. He no longer just learns about the world; he appreciates it, forms opinions through his own perspective, weighs things up, makes decisions—and when I look into it, I am enchanted; this world of his is so beautiful…! And I already feel myself starting to fall out of it; it’s no longer our shared world, but his…
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Easter Monday – 2020 –
Before I become irreparably sentimental and start sharing all my thoughts and wandering emotions from the perspective of a mother who spent a whole day with her family for the first time in weeks, I’d rather share the pictures and a short video of our Easter this year. A day that I savored in every detail, experienced every sound, absorbed every scent and touch, every tiny finger rustling in strands of hair. From the bottom of my heart, I hope your holiday was just as you imagined it in these extraordinary times: peaceful, surrounded by loved ones, and careful. And as a footnote, a memory from busier times, from other…
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Ruben’s Name Day 2020
Happy Name Day, Ru..! Finally, a moment has come when, no matter the circumstances, I make sure to create space and time in the day for what matters most: family. This ongoing emergency situation has made every hospital a challenging place, yet the healing of patients and the workflows built around it are values into which one puts their whole heart. Even outside of emergencies, this is demanding work, but despite 10-11 hour shifts, we go to bed each night with peace, knowing we have contributed something meaningful—something that moves things forward, something worth sacrificing Saturdays and Sundays for, and facing the next week and the one after with resolve.…