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Ru is 8 years old…! – April 23, 2020 –
In extraordinary times, a new kind of feeling arises (chillingly special, frightening, blood-curdling, shocking, demanding trust, calling for courage, helpless)… My son is growing up. But not as he used to, step by step, always learning a little more about the world, rather suddenly leaping over chasms, wild, with open arms, unstoppable. Absolutely irreversible. He no longer just learns about the world; he appreciates it, forms opinions through his own perspective, weighs things up, makes decisions—and when I look into it, I am enchanted; this world of his is so beautiful…! And I already feel myself starting to fall out of it; it’s no longer our shared world, but his…
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Easter Monday – 2020 –
Before I become irreparably sentimental and start sharing all my thoughts and wandering emotions from the perspective of a mother who spent a whole day with her family for the first time in weeks, I’d rather share the pictures and a short video of our Easter this year. A day that I savored in every detail, experienced every sound, absorbed every scent and touch, every tiny finger rustling in strands of hair. From the bottom of my heart, I hope your holiday was just as you imagined it in these extraordinary times: peaceful, surrounded by loved ones, and careful. And as a footnote, a memory from busier times, from other…
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Ruben’s Name Day 2020
Happy Name Day, Ru..! Finally, a moment has come when, no matter the circumstances, I make sure to create space and time in the day for what matters most: family. This ongoing emergency situation has made every hospital a challenging place, yet the healing of patients and the workflows built around it are values into which one puts their whole heart. Even outside of emergencies, this is demanding work, but despite 10-11 hour shifts, we go to bed each night with peace, knowing we have contributed something meaningful—something that moves things forward, something worth sacrificing Saturdays and Sundays for, and facing the next week and the one after with resolve.…
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Winter chasing
For me, the carnival season already feels like a countdown: we’re coming out of winter! Because December claims all the holidays for itself, and January and February are basically just about surviving until spring. Luckily, there are still birthdays and name days to celebrate in the family during these months, which brighten this period a bit. But when it’s carnival time, you can see the light at the end of winter’s long, cold tunnel, and a gentle tingling appears at your fingertips, signaling that the worst of the cold is almost over. And as such a hopeful milestone, what better way to celebrate than with a batch of fitting homemade…
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Music
The wind has been blowing wildly for days. Everyone is restless because of it—irritable, sensitive—but somehow it has a calming effect on me. The way it roars through the streets, foaming like waves, sometimes I almost believe it’s alive. But since it’s wind, let it blow. Let it rage, tear apart, and then calm down. But when it blows, let it also blow music. Melody, rhythm, colors on five lines—give a little more than just itself. Let it show beyond its translucent forms and guide me along a path where I don’t need yellow bricks or curbs, but where sounds replace light in the end. Let it howl in a…
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Christmas
This holiday passed undeservedly quickly, and by the time we had visited and indulged every family member, we barely had one evening left of Christmas to spend quietly at home in pajamas, relaxing with just our close family. I’m considering introducing new traditions next year to see if they work out—for example, on the first day of Advent, not only decorating the house but also putting up the Christmas tree. I’ve noticed this tradition in several families, and although I initially approached it with some hesitation (we always set up the tree on the morning of the 24th), over the years I’ve grown so accustomed to it that I’ve even…
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Waiting for Christmas
Although my new job requires me to use up my year-end reserve energy, all things considered, I truly feel good at the hospital. If I’m clever, we’ll be able to experience Advent at home just as this season deserves: in peace, with the scent of cookies, spiced coffee, good books, and most importantly, with each other. Since creating the Advent atmosphere at home during busy weekday evenings takes some extra attention and planning, this little virtual nook has been a bit neglected in recent weeks. So, now is the perfect time to share with you some of the most memorable moments from the past period through a few photos—capturing the…
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The park, books, and trees — a perfect trio for quiet adventures and timeless stories.
One of the best after-school activities is going to the library and carefully choosing the next book to hide away in when everyday life becomes overwhelming. Of course, for a school-age boy, a quiet afternoon at the library isn’t always enough, so sometimes we spice it up by sitting in the park to read (collecting chestnuts, gathering with friends, climbing trees)—just like on this simple afternoon when I took these photos. Why shouldn’t such a moment be worthy of celebration, especially looking back a few weeks from now, here in rainy November…? Oh, did I mention? I have a new job at the hospital in this little town, in administration:…
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Halloween, 2019. – showtime!
Although there aren’t many photos from the evening and those we have aren’t the best quality, what truly matters is captured in them: people connected to each other, a carved pumpkin lantern, and some spooky treats! Here are a few gathered snapshots of the behind-the-scenes work and sweet memories spent with my golden-haired little one. For those curious and nostalgic, here are some clicks to Halloween celebrations from previous years: 2018 2017 2016 Dated: Nov 9, 2019
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Halloween, 2019 – Preparations
I know the Halloween debate has become quite divided lately, but I’m definitely and enthusiastically voting for Halloween! Together with Ruben (: Anyone who has been reading this journal for a while knows that Ru’s forgotten birthday falls around this time, and when we celebrated his sixth month, everything was pumpkins and jack-o’-lanterns (introducing solids and all that, those adorable baby months…!). Over the years, it has actually become a tradition. By now, we have a shared dinner with grandma, a few tried-and-true dishes that I only make at this time (grandma’s favorite cheesy baguette, which unfortunately had to be replaced this year by pumpkin scones), decorating our home, and…

























