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Letter to Time

Dear passing Time,

I know I cannot stand in your way, and the more one tries to resist you, the more precious you become. But I am not writing to you now because I resent you for that, or because I do not understand how you work. Not because of the wrinkles you’ve left behind, etched on me by the days of my life spent with you.

I simply want to thank you for everything you have taught me:
Patience, when it goes most against my nature, yet with you I learned when to let my demons out and when to keep them on a leash.

Clear-sightedness, when only a frozen instant is enough for me to glimpse the future memories I will one day, in old age—when the two of us are truly good friends—call back to mind:

Rú’s smile at a shared joke, still only alive in his eyes.
That moment when we are thinking the same thing and our eyes meet.
That smile that has already been born, but has not yet reached his mouth.

Laci’s face when he grows deep in thought, which is still only his for now, but I know he will share it with me in the next moment.

Wolfie’s profoundly deep gaze when he is in my arms and looking into my eyes. I know he is reading me and enjoying what he sees.

Peace, which I always searched for and eventually took root in the family.

The ability to value unrepeatable days. And finally to enjoy the fact that every single morning gives me one that will be unique, just like every one that came before it and every one that will follow.

Pride, that I can be who I am now. I could only get here through you, and through all the good and bad experiences you have given me.

So thank you for teaching me all this. For showing me the beautiful face of impermanence, which made it lovable instead of frightening. For helping me realize how precious every moment is in which I can be present—and who and what make it precious. ♥

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Welcome to our little virtual corner! I’m a single mother raising my wonderful son, Ruben, who has grown into a remarkable teenager. For years, I was the sole breadwinner as a Krav Maga instructor, balancing the challenges of parenthood and work on my own. When Ruben started kindergarten, I embarked on a new journey by studying healthcare management at Semmelweis University, specializing in health tourism management. After graduating, I began working in my field and experienced firsthand the tragic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic while serving as a healthcare manager in a state hospital. As the pandemic subsided, I transitioned into private healthcare, where I currently work as a practice manager. Meanwhile, our family moved from a small town to Vác, a charming historic Danube riverside city near Budapest. Later, I took on a new role at the Department of Health within the Ministry of Interior, continuing my journey in the healthcare field from a different perspective. Life has also grown in beautiful new ways: a wonderful partner has brought fresh energy and warmth into what was once just me and Rú—now we’re a family of three. Here, we embrace the everyday moments and joys of life together. If you want to hear more stories about us, you’re warmly invited to visit the original Daysonpaper blog at S&Ru’s Diary on daysonpaper.blog.hu. So I decided to try living for a year on an international stage and see if there are other mothers in similar shoes for whom this diary could be a support on the harder days—just as it has been a support for me when I was able to look beyond the difficulties and sincerely believe in my own strength. Thank you for stopping by!

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